chickenkiev's Blog

im gonna go throw up some egg foo yung then pass out hopefly im na my bed gnite

There was once this man named Jeh-munga. And he liked to play with skittles. he worked in an office. he went to a meeting, and when his boss called on him to illustrate what he had been working on, he shoved skittles up his nose and shot them across the table at his boss. His boss would pick the skittles up off the floor and look at them closely. Inscribed on each skittle was a tiny sentence about something Jeh-munga had been working on. So after each meeting, his boss would be at the copy machine laying the skittles out on the glass carefully to copy them all onto one sheet of paper. Jeh-munga would hide around the corner watching his boss's every move. Just as his boss got the last skittle set perfectly on the glass, Jeh-munga would snort out a huge penut at the machine and make all of the skittles go flying. Of course his boss saw him do this. As soon as they made eye contact Jeh-munga would quickly hide and run back to his office where there were skittles all over the floor everywhere. His boss would go to his office wanting to ask Jeh-munga what he just did. When he got to Jeh-munga's office, Jeh-munga would be hunched over his desk. "Jeh-munga", his boss would say. Jeh-munga would quickly turn around with a googly face on, all these skittles pushed in around his face. Up his nose in his ears and hanging just off the end of his crusty lip. He'd make a stupid sound like ,"eh-deh-bleh-duh-buh-blehhh" and let the skittles dribble out his mouth and onto the floor.

One day, Jeh-munga's boss was walking by his office. He looked in and Jeh-munga was standing at his desk, shirt off, with his back to the door. His boss noticed the spuradic hair patterns on Jeh-munga's back. "Good morning Jeh-Munga.", he said. Just as he uttered the first sylable of that sentence, Jeh-munga turned around quickly and kinda crouched a little with his hands up by his face pretending he had claws ready to pounce on his boss. As usual, Jeh-munga had skittles in and around his face only this time, he had skittle colored pasties on his nipples and his name tag was hanging off one of them. His eyes widened. "BOOGA! BOOGA!! BOOGA!!! Rhraaaahrrrrrrrr!!!!", he yelled while he clawed at the air with a dumb look on his face. Skittles dribbled out of his mouth and onto the floor. "Carry on.", said his boss as he continued on down the hall. "You stickem up your doodle! That's what they're for!", Jeh-munga yelled around the corner.

One day, when Jeh-munga's boss was walking by his office, a tiny brown pellet came flying out and hit him right in the head. The boss looked in and saw Jeh-munga hunched over a little toy on his desk. Jeh-munga quickly looked up with a crazy look on his face. "It's a plastic reindeer. And he stands up on the table.", Jeh-munga said with an insane tone in his voice. He grabbed the toy and put it right up to his face. "And when u push him down a tiny poo comes out of his butt!!", he pushed it down gently and a small piece of brown candy came out of a hole on the back of the toy. "But the poo isn't poo. It's candy.", he put the little candy up his nose. His boss just then noticed that Jeh-munga had these candies all up in and around his face just like he had the skittles. "He makes poop noises, too! see?" Jeh-munga started making fart and poop noises and pressing the deer so it would dispense more candy. "And watch THIS." He stood the toy up on the table and then slamed on the reindeer's back. A candy went flying out of it and hit the wall. "...and then i point it out my door and shoot it at people as they walk by!" The boss just sighed as he said, "carry on.", and continued walking. Jeh-munga's crys could be heard in the distance by his boss who was not heeding the barage of tiny "poo" candies hitting his back as he walked away.

One day, the boss was sitting in his office. He was just working on the current project that just got accepted the day previous. All of a sudden, Jeh-munga walks in staring blankly in front of him and turns to face his boss. The boss stared at Jeh-munga in disbelief. Jeh-munga was dressed for the season. He appeared to be wearing an "off white" thermal suit. He had black stiletto healed knee high boots on with white puffyness around the tops by his knees. He was also wearing a santa hat that had same puffyness as the boots. He was blankly staring at his boss with a straight crazy face on. The boss noticed Jeh-munga had the skittle colored pasties on over his thermal suit. He was kinda hunched a bit. "Deh... deh deh det deh deh duh det deh deh det dehhhhhhh!!", said Jeh-munga. It sounded a little like the "Mr's Robinson" tune by the Beatles but not really. He started doing this little dance swinging his arms back and forth and every so often he would put his finger up to his nose and shoot out a skittle across the desk at his boss. "DEH! Duh deh det deh duh...", he sang as he danced, hopping around the floor. Skittles were dribbling out of his mouth and onto the floor. His arms were swinging all around knocking things off the shelves and desk. As abruptly as it started, the so-called "singing" and "dancing" stopped. Jeh-munga just stared at his boss blankly with this crazy look on his face. "Good morning Jeh-munga", said the boss. Jeh-munga looked all paranoid and started looking around the corner out his bosses office. The boss looked around for the skittles that hit him during Jeh-munga's show. There was a red one and a green one. "How festive.", he said under his breath. Jeh-munga just grunted and sprinted out of the office. He just sighed and noticed his office was trashed from Jeh-munga's cute little dance.The boss looked closely at the skittles trying to make out what was inscribed on them. Just as he got his eyes to focus low enough, Jeh-munga peeped around the corner. "NO!!", he yelled and looked up to the ceiling. His boss looked up to see what Jeh-munga was looking at. Just as his boss took his eyes off of him, Jeh-munga snorted out two huge penuts and hit the skittles out of the bosses hands with peculiar accuracy. "You stick them up your DOODLE... Thats what they're FOR....", said Jeh-munga as he slowly inched his head out of the office.

One day, the boss was walking down the hall. Just as he passed Jeh-munga's office door, a slimy squid is hurled over the cube wall and lands right where the boss is about to step. The boss slips on the squid and falls heals in the air and lands on his tailbone. While he's curling in pain, he can hear Jeh-munga in his office. Skittles start raining over the cube wall on top of him. Jeh-munga peeps around the corner. "That's a squid." Jeh-munga made a googly face. "You can put them up his doodle too!!"

One day, the boss was walking down the hall. When he went by Jeh-munga's office, he was startled by what he saw. Jeh-munga was just standing in the middle of his office facing the door with his arms up and out in front of him, hands limp with nothing but a girl's size 4 Luvs diaper stuck on by masking tape going around his waist. He had a dumb smile on his face. "Peeeee peeeeeeeeeee...", said Jeh-munga. Just then and staring straight ahead with a blank goofy smile on, Jeh-munga let a yellow steamy stream of liquid dribble out of the diaper, down his leg, and onto the floor. A puddle forms. Jeh-munga looks down then looks up again quickly and said, "PEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEEEE..." as he hops from one foot to another slapping his feet in the puddle and moving his arms around like it was 'spooky'. "Thaaat's what I thought.", the boss said as he continues walking.

"Hey Stan? Have you seen my scissors? I thought I left them on my desk but they're not here. And did you leave those skittles on my desk? Thanks!" The boss walked down the hall just listening to his workers talk. They're such good workers. He came to Jeh-munga's office. He looked in and Jeh-munga wasn't there. Thank God, he thought. He noticed that on the wall there were little paper cut out pictures of different office supplies just pasted there. He walked in a little further into Jeh-munga's office and a little piece of paper popped up into his face out of nowhere. It had skittles all over it. Written on the skittles was: "I'm hiding. Hee hee." Jeh-munga is just different, he thought and walked away. "Where is my stapler? And what the hell are all these skittles doing all inside my draw?", someone asked. A few minutes later, Stan came back to Sue's office with her scissors. They were soaked and stunk of urine. "I found these in the mens toilet. I don't know how they got there but there they were." Later on that day, the boss needed to use the little boys room. So he got up and walked towards the bathroom. The closer he got, the more profound a voice became coming from the bathroom. He got in there, to find that there were skittles all over the floor at Jeh-mungas feet in front of the handicapped stall. He was standing there with his pants and thermal undies draped over his boots, arms down by his sides, with a blank look on his face peeing into the stall. He was mermering something but the boss couldn't hear. He went up close to Jeh-munga and still couldn't hear. He had to get so close to Jeh-munga he was like inches from his face. Under Jeh-munga's breath he was saying, "I peeee peeeee on them." "Uh.. OK... Look Jeh-munga we gotta talk about yer behavior...", the boss said as he walked away. Jeh-munga turned to face the boss's back and put his hands up in front of him wavin them around bein all scarey... "PEEEE PEEEEEEEEE", he said as the stream of pee arched up and over across the bathroom hitting the wall just missing his boss.